CAST:
CLIENT
BEAST
RECEPTION
AGENT
DARK FOREST, NIGHT
Open on a terrified young man in his pajamas, the CLIENT, cornered against a rock. An enormous monster towers over him, a hairy, stocky BEAST with a blank, amorphous blob where its head should be. It lunges at him.
BEDROOM, NIGHT
The CLIENT sits up in his bed with a gasp. He is sweating and breathing heavily, still terrified.
He looks over at his alarm clock, which reads 5:59 AM. As he watches, it turns to 6 and goes off. He looks disgusted.
KITCHEN, EARLY MORNING
The CLIENT sits at the kitchen table with toast and coffee while he reads the newspaper. A tiny advertisement catches his eye.
AD: CHRONIC OR RECURRING NIGHTMARES? WE CAN HELP! (phone number) OPEN ALL HOURS!
The CLIENT pauses mid-sip, then stands and walks to the phone, holding the newspaper open at the ad. He dials the number. It doesn't even get a chance to finish the first ring before getting picked up by RECEPTION.
RECEPTION (bored): Can I help you?
CLIENT: Uh, yes, hello. I saw your ad in the paper-
RECEPTION: Spirit Guide, Gatekeeper, Architect, or Nightmare?
CLIENT: What? Uh, Nightmare.
RECEPTION: Alright, sir, just a few questions. Do you normally sleep on your side or back?
CLIENT: Back.
RECEPTION: Would you describe yourself as "an old soul", or "young at heart"?
CLIENT (confused): Um... young at heart, I guess.
RECEPTION: At what age did you stop believing in Santa?
CLIENT: Are you serious?
RECEPTION (deadpan): Completely serious, sir. These are standard questions.
CLIENT: Fine, fine, okay. Uh- nine.
RECEPTION: That's great, sir, just one more thing and we're done. Do you have a pen?
CLIENT: Just a sec- (rummages around awkwardly and picks up a pen) Got it.
RECEPTION: Good. Make sure you're holding it when you go to sleep tonight.
CLIENT: What?
The phone makes a CLICK and dial tone noise. The CLIENT, holding the phone, stares at the pen, bewildered.
CUT TO a quick montage of the CLIENT going through his day, working in a cubicle, looking bored.
CUT TO the CLIENT lying in bed again, with the pen in his chest pocket. He looks skeptical, but sighs and closes his eyes.
DARK FOREST, NIGHT
The CLIENT is running terrified through the forest, chased by the BEAST. He struggles through black thorns and clawing branches, while the BEAST behind him crashes through trees. Once again, he finds himself trapped by a large boulder, and turns to see the BEAST looming over him, exactly as before.
Before it can lunge at him, over the BEAST's shoulder, he sees a light in the sky. He stares at it. The BEAST turns its blobby head to follow his gaze.
The light coalesces into a bizarre figure floating in the sky, the AGENT. It is humanoid, but its head is a large triangle with many eyes. Its spindly arms have too many joints. Its legs are crossed. There appears to be a mouth on its torso. From its back sprout a half-dozen or so tentacles.
As the AGENT descends through the air, the area around it changes. The patch of sky it occupies turns from night to day, bare black trees sprout vibrant green leaves, and flowers bloom. The colors near it become heavily saturated.
As the AGENT lands, its body melds a bit with the environment. The tentacles on its back become tree branches, its feet take root in the ground.
The BEAST charges at the AGENT, who unconcernedly lifts a finger in a "one moment" gesture. The BEAST freezes in midair, although it trembles violently as if fighting to get free. The AGENT approaches the CLIENT- not walking, the ground moves to bring him forward. The CLIENT looks at him, still terrified.
AGENT: Are you the client?
The CLIENT says nothing and stares at him with wide eyes.
AGENT (cont.): Back-sleeper, young at heart, nine when Santa died?
The CLIENT manages a nod.
AGENT (cont.): Do you have your pen?
The CLIENT, without taking his eyes off of the AGENT, claws for the pen, then holds it out like a weapon.
The AGENT, through the mouth on his torso, pulls out a white gooey strip of fabric that hardens in the air into what appears to be paper.
AGENT (cont.): Sign here.
Still not taking his eyes off the AGENT, the CLIENT frantically scribbles a signature on the paper. As he finishes, the paper is slurped back into the mouth.
AGENT (cont.): Great. This should only take a sec.
The AGENT twirls its fingers and the BEAST is spun slowly around to face the AGENT.
AGENT (cont.): Looks like a Code 6 Dreaded Revelation, fairly standard.
The AGENT reaches into its chest-mouth and pulls out another ropy strand of goo, which hardens into a blue dry-erase marker. It pops the cap and reaches up to the BEAST's featureless face, and draws a solid blue line across it.
The BEAST's face splits open at the line to reveal a human-looking mouth, complete with teeth and tongue. It rubs its lips together as if to test it out, then turns its head towards the CLIENT.
BEAST: You settled for a job you hate and it's slowly killing you.
The CLIENT looks at the BEAST, his terror now turned to confusion. The ground surges upwards and swallows the BEAST, then returns to normal as if the BEAST had never been there.
CLIENT: (rubbing his head) I, uh... wow.
AGENT: Yeah, it's never fun to hear, but you can't run from it forever.
The CLIENT continues to stare at the ground where the BEAST had stood, caught in thought.
AGENT (cont.): Are you satisfied with your service?
The CLIENT shakes himself back to the present.
CLIENT: What?
AGENT (a bit impatiently): Are you satisfied with your service?
CLIENT: Oh! Uh, yes, yes I am. Very satisfied.
AGENT: That's great.
The AGENT's tentacles reach backwards and tear open a rift in the air. Where the AGENT's body is close to the rift, his flesh becomes transparent.
AGENT (cont.): Well, I'm on kind of a tight schedule, so unless there's anything else, I'll be on my way.
CLIENT: Right... wait, wait! What do I owe you? (to himself) How do I pay?
AGENT: (now halfway through the rift) Oh, don't worry about it. As a being of this plane, you're covered under the Jung/Ftagln Grant. Should be good for the next few millennia.
CLIENT: Oh- okay. And... thank you.
AGENT: (almost all the way through) Just doing my job. Sweet dreams!
The rift closes, leaving the CLIENT standing alone in the FOREST.
BEDROOM, NIGHT
The CLIENT's eyes open. He is lying in bed. He still has a very confused expression.
Slowly, he begins to smile.
END